Nothing can prepare us for the shocking and hilarious things that come out of kids’ mouths sometimes. Raise your hand if a student’s comment has left you shaking with laughter or possibly even at a complete loss for words.

On Facebook, we asked you to share some of the funniest things you’ve heard in the classroom. What you wrote had us laughing for hours…
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I overheard this conversation between two 1st graders. Student A: “If you hold your breath long enough, your eyeballs will pop out of your head.” Student B: “No way. That’s just a bourbon legend.” – Karen Wiebel


A student looked at me with a wry smile and stated very matter-of-factly, “I’m going to poop on your rug!” – Chance Margheim



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I asked my 1st grade students, “Does anyone know who’s on the front of the penny?” One student raised her hand very confidently and said, “Yes, JC Penny!” I laughed a little bit and told her that was a great guess. – Dodie Rotchford 

A student I’m retaining and will have again next year (who knows he’ll be with me again) told another student that the secret to staying in Kindergarten with Mrs. Lewis again was this: “Well, you just need to tell her you love her more often. Then she’ll let you stay with her again.” – Keri Heaton Lewis




Screen Shot 2015-06-04 at 3.44.00 PMWhen I was pregnant, a student asked me if I was adopting a baby. I told him ‘no’ and that the baby was in my tummy. He looked at me, horrified, and asked “Did you adopt a baby and EAT it?!” – Wife Teacher Mommy



“Hey Mrs. Reynolds check it out: Sun’s out, guns out!” and then flashes his muscles. – Abbey Reynolds




Screen Shot 2015-06-04 at 3.44.58 PMWhen we were working on words with the beginning sound /k/, one of my students got very excited. He said, “I know, I know! Every Kiss begins with K!” – Joann Willis



The closing bell was ready to ring, and we hadn’t finished our math lesson in Kindergarten. I mentioned to the class that we would have a ‘catch up’ day tomorrow. The next morning I got a phone call from a mom asking how many bottles of ‘ketchup’ we needed at school that day! – Andrea Savage Mathews   



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I was pregnant and one of my little girls asked me, “How will you know if your baby is a boy or girl? You are gonna have to wait to see if its hair will grow out.” – Julie Miller Parnell


Kids at our school thought the principal’s salary came from the machine they put their quarters in for pencils and paper. – DeAnn Fenwick



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At the beginning of the year during story time, I looked up as I was reading. One of my students, a 7 -year-old, had the collar of his t-shirt pulled out and down toward his stomach. I asked him what he was doing. He replied seriously, “I’m looking for chest hair.” – Stephanie Reed




When I’m in the hallway with my class, waiting outside their specials classrooms, I often quiz them on their state capitals. When I asked one of my students, “What is the capital of Minnesota?” a 1st grader walking by excitedly said, “I know it! It’s M.” My students and I were cracking up! – Jessica Diane



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I was about 6 months pregnant when I started to show. One of my students came up to me, rubbed my belly, and said, “There’s a whole lotta muffins in there.” – Steph Anie

“I can’t read right now, I have heartburn” – Kristin Grow 

I was telling my kindergarteners about my drive to work and one of them asked me, ‘Where do you work?'” – Debbie Kodra