When kids have something to say, they say it. Get a load of these hilarious gems, straight from the mouths of the tiniest comedians:

funny21. “I can’t read right now. I have heartburn.”

2. “It must be really hard to be talking and know that no one is listening to you.”

3. “I’m going to shave my beard when I go home tonight.” (1st grader)

4. “I didn’t know you bought groceries!”

5. “My mom got the fat sucked out of her belly today, so we have to leave her alone in bed for a few days.”

6. “Are pickles made from an alligator’s skin?”

funny47. “Your hand sanitizer does NOT taste like apples.”

8. “The government should postpone the media shower until next week so more people can watch it.”

9.  “My water broke.”(5-year-old boy)

10. “Ms. S, why aren’t you married? Is it because you’re in high school?”

11. “Do you need to get your zen on?”

12. “So, am I a placenta?”

funny313. “Sorry I was late to school again. My mom had the runs this morning.”

14. “Mrs. O, what are you gonna be when you grow up?”

15. “I already know Kindergarten. I Googled it.”